The New Normal: More Questions Than Answers

I think the reality of the situation is beginning to sink in for more people. Certainly there are those who still somehow believe that magically, the virus danger will be behind us in a couple of weeks. These are the people counting the days in their social posts – “Day 4 of Social Distancing.” That is an unwise and unsustainable practice. The reality is that we will be grappling for many months with the virus, with social distancing and with the knowledge that as the virus continues its exponential spread, an increasing number of the people we personally know and love may become sick or worse from COVID-19. 

It’s been called the “new normal” but honestly, most of us are making it up on the fly. There’s no handbook or protocol. No one can determine for you what your risk tolerance is. Each of us must define our own modus operandi in this new, unfamiliar and ever-unfolding situation. We must establish and adhere to rules that determine which social excursions are justifiable. From grocery pickups and pharmacy runs to medical visits – what are the rules for such interactions? Do we wear a mask or not? Is hand sanitizer sufficient? If I have to enter a grocery store, how many people need to be in an aisle for me to automatically avoid it? What if someone is coughing? Do I abort the mission altogether? Should I hold my breath every time I pass another shopper just to be safe? Must I sanitize each purchased item before it enters my home? And at what point will we begin to justify loosening these rules? What will have to be true for that to even be a consideration? 

And with interpersonal relationships, who is okay to see in person? Certainly the immediate family in our own homes – with the exception of those exhibiting tell-tale symptoms and even then, when they rely on your care, there’s little choice. But what about extended family that live elsewhere and may have a different set of rules guiding their interactions? How can we be certain that they are as careful as we are? The weakest link in our personal social network determines our risk of contracting the virus. 

Is it inevitable that we will contract COVID-19? No one knows. But what we can be sure of is that the longer we can avoid exposure, the longer we can hold out, self-isolate and endure the daily frustrations and inconveniences, the better our chances of survival. On the other side of the initial tidal waves of patients flooding our medical facilities, after factories have ramped production of critical medical supplies, after our supply chains have improved distribution of these supplies, after testing is ubiquitous and efficient and after we have more quantitative and qualitative information about the disease and its progression – perhaps that’s when a more calculated risk may be justified. But that, it seems to me, is likely months in the future. 

With respect to the economy, knowing what we already know, how can anyone predict anything less than a significant and protracted disaster? To be sure, it will recover. It always does. Until then, how many jobs will be lost? Businesses shuttered? Retirement accounts decimated? What will happen to home values? Will some of us be underwater in our mortgages? If we lose our jobs and can’t continue to make payments, will we be able to sell? Is anyone going to be buying or will we be forced to walk away, potentially leading to another foreclosure crisis?

As with 9/11, certain changes are inevitable after we emerge from this situation, both in government and in our daily lives. Certainly our nation will take global pandemics seriously, and do a better job preparing for them. We will stockpile critical supplies. We will train more physicians. We will focus more on vaccinations. We will be more acutely aware of our interconnectedness, our reliance on each other, and on the industries that kept operating through the crisis. Perhaps healthcare will become more of a fundamental right. Perhaps we will pass minimum wage increases. I could see individual savings rates increasing, including building of emergency funds. Work-from-home arrangements may become more common as companies realize they can still produce quality work without the overhead of massive physical offices. 

So, as I sit here in my home office on Friday March 20, 2020, there have been 16,796 positive cases and 229 confirmed deaths in the U.S. How high these numbers will go and when they peak is yet to be known. We can expect these figures to grow exponentially for the next several weeks, into the hundreds of thousands of cases and thousands of deaths. Only time will tell. 

Until then, the best advice I’ve heard is to focus on today. After you’ve established your house rules and mapped out specific plans for a handful of possible situations, it’s time to stop ruminating about possible scenarios that may or may not come to pass. Control the controllable. Check in with your friends and loved ones – make sure they have what they need, both physically and emotionally. Take it day by day – even hour by hour, if that’s easier for you. Limit news and social media. Get present. Take time for gratitude. If you are alive, healthy and reasonably safe, then every moment is a gift to be cherished. This too shall pass.

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash


An Introvert’s Guide to Office Survival

It’s no secret that our culture reveres the bold, the talkative, the spontaneous, and the decisive. These larger-than-life “extrovert qualities” are often necessary but hardly sufficient for business success. Famous introverts such as Bill Gates, Steven Spielberg, Marissa Mayer and Warren Buffett are often the ones that contribute the most creative ideas, demonstrate the greatest passion and deliver the most prescient strategic insights. 

If you are an introvert like me, you know the daily struggle to thrive in environments designed around the extrovert ideal. However if you don’t take the initiative to deploy strategies that ensure the environment also works for you, a typical workday may eventually take a toll on your energy, self-esteem and even your career. Here are 10 tips for thriving without compromise. 


Don’t succumb to pressure to become an extrovert. Any such attempt is likely to come off as disingenuous, undermine your confidence and render you less effective. Introverts possess uniquely valuable traits. Harness and embrace what makes you different and use it to benefit the organization. 


You probably had to leave your introvert comfort zone to land the job in the first place. Once there, it can be beneficial to have an open conversation with your supervisor and close colleagues about your work style. This will make them less likely to perceive you as antisocial, but rather as a deeply focused get-it-done type. 


Introversion is not a license to be slow, late or aloof. Your job is to deliver value to the organization. Figure out how you work best then get sh*t done. If you focus on output and always meet your deadlines and obligations, the nuances of your work style will matter less and less. 


Introverts often need more time to process and synthesize information. Don’t feel pressured to provide instant feedback. If you need a few minutes alone with the information to provide your most considered response or recommendation, let your colleagues know that, then be sure to follow through ASAP.  


There is something to the ideal of the strong silent type. In a group meeting, don’t feel like you have to chime in on everything being discussed. Be attentive, absorb what’s being said and speak up only when you have something of value to contribute. Your colleagues will increasingly see you as confident, measured and thoughtful. 


Introverts often express themselves better in writing. If you are in that camp, use email when possible. It will give you time to synthesize your thoughts and be more articulate than when trying to speak extemporaneously. But beware, bosses and colleagues never want to read a rambling novel. Get to the point, clearly and succinctly.  


As introverts, we tend to be more sensitive to stimuli so the modern noisy office environment can adversely affect your productivity. Invest in some good noise-cancelling headphones. But be proactive in letting your colleagues and employees know it’s not a “don’t bother me” sign, but rather just a tool to aid in concentration. 


Eight or more hours in a busy office can be exhausting for anyone but it’s particularly so for introverts. If you are an early riser, consider coming into work early and savor the quiet time to get things done. You can also schedule mini escapes throughout the day. Whether booking a conference room for a half-hour to work in silence, or scheduling a couple of 15 minute walks outside, these can help you recharge and ultimately be more creative and productive. 


Happy hours, group lunches, dinners, book clubs, sports leagues – there is no shortage of social invitations in office environments. This can be daunting for someone who doesn’t care for small talk and needs time alone to recharge. But social events can help you build stronger relationships with your colleagues, establish trust, find common ground, and grow in your career. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation, but be sure to say yes sometimes. 


Not all introverts are alike. We all reside somewhere on the spectrum from introvert to ambivert to extrovert. The more self-awareness you have, the more successfully you’ll be able to navigate and grow in your career. Consider reading Susan Cain’s excellent book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” or download the audiobook. You may also wish to talk to your HR team or Learning & Development Manager about taking the DISC profile test. Many companies will pay for you and your colleagues to take the DISC test which can run $40-60 per person. Having taken Myers-Briggs and countless other tests over the last 20 years, I consider DISC to be by far the best, most accurate and most actionable personal assessment tool available.

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

Over $3,000,000 earned but still not FI

Most in the FI community will gasp at the headline. Many will judge me harshly for a lack of fiscal discipline and common sense. And some will simply recognize this as emblematic of our consumer culture. But let me be clear: NO ONE should feel sorry for me. 

At the end of 2019, I logged onto the Social Security website to review its estimate for my monthly earnings in retirement and discovered that early in the year 2019, my lifetime taxable earnings crossed the $3M mark. 

Granted it took 34 years, from the age of 16 to 49, to reach that milestone but I am aware of the reality that this is still more than the average earner makes in a lifetime (see chart below), and that makes me very fortunate.

The Standard Script

Yes, I worked hard and gave a lot of my “life energy,” as Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez framed it in their excellent book Your Money or Your Life, to earn it. My work ethic has always been strong. In the years preceding my first taxed employment as a bagger at small grocery store when I was 16, I worked in bean fields, had paper routes, babysat and walked dogs for money. I worked my way through college, took $28K in student loans and qualified for needs-based grants, emerging with a BA in Communication Studies from a state university at, what felt like, the advanced age of 26. 

Throughout my 23 year professional career, I’ve been fortunate enough to land interesting jobs with increasing levels of responsibility at well-known companies, eventually eclipsing the six-figure mark the year I turned 33. In the intervening years I’ve continued to increase my income, and with it, my standard of living.

Following the standard script, I moved to better and better apartments, got married, had a child, then graduated to our first small home. As my salary and family grew, so did the size of the homes and their attendant mortgage payments. My cars got nicer and more frequent. I bought a boat. Purchased land. Built a custom home. Put in a pool. You get the picture. 

But it wasn’t just the big purchases. Because our bank account was “not zero”, we bought stuff, enjoyed nice restaurants, we gave to charities, subscribed to services, took fabulous family trips. At the grocery store, we didn’t compare prices, we simply bought what we wanted. We were living it up each day as if there were no tomorrow. 

Along the way, we built up retirement accounts but we’ve been negligent in both the regularity and amounts of our 401K contributions. And it’s not because we didn’t know better, or that we didn’t understand compound interest, or that we failed to recognize that this lifestyle was committing us to working at least until traditional retirement age. We were just living for the moment. Despite an anemic savings rate, thanks to the relatively high denominator of our household income, we have a respectable retirement savings, but not nearly what one would expect of someone at my age and income bracket – and not nearly enough for Financial Independence. 

But many outside the FI community would say, what are you worried about? You have another 16 years before retirement to earn and save. That’s certainly true and might even be comforting if I were still passionate about my career, still energized about going to work every weekday (and sometimes weekends), if I was satisfied to see my family for only a couple of hours each night and if I wasn’t sometimes stressed to the point of dysfunction after taking verbal abuse from senior leadership at work.

A Moment of Clarity

So it was that I found myself at the end of 2019 taking stock of our situation. We live in a 3,000+ square foot home with a pool on ten acres in a gated neighborhood in a top school district, with four cars and that boat. But we have a modest retirement, no emergency fund, a mountain of debt (mostly mortgage and three car loans). If I lost my job, my family would be in a precarious position and would need to take some dramatic steps to stay afloat. In a previous post I described the moment I learned that my family of three spent $154,775 in a single year (for the curious, $53.7K was mortgage & property taxes). That’s the moment I said enough

A moment of clarity is only as valuable as one’s willingness to take action and possessing the knowledge of what actions to take. Fortunately I had been preparing for this moment of reckoning. As it happens, in 2019 I was also exposed to the wisdom of the Minimalist and FI communities. And while I had yet to take any action on this new-found knowledge, these worldviews woke me up to a different script and provided me the roadmap to pursue a new path. 

A New Script

The Minimalists and Becoming Minimalist helped remind me what truly matters, and let me see that everything I owned, owned me. I learned that physical clutter is also mental clutter and that eliminating the excess frees up mental space to appreciate what I do have in both basic needs and more importantly, loving human relationships. Eventually I stumbled upon Mr. Money Mustache which inspired me to go deeper into the rabbit hole of financial independence. Then the floodgates opened. By the end of 2019, I had watched the documentary Playing with Fire, read the books Work Optional, Your Money or Your Life, ChooseFI, Meet the Frugalwoods, The Simple Path to Wealth, I Will Teach You To Be Rich, and Quit Like a Millionaire

Thanks to this generous community, I have a blueprint for my own unique journey to pursuing FI. I shared the knowledge and this inspiring vision with my wife and she’s genuinely on board. Just over a week into 2020, we’ve already taken the following actions: 

  • Paid off a credit card
  • Maxed out my 401K contribution ($19K + company match)
  • Began contributing the maximum into an IRA
  • Become more conscious of our spending
  • Set up a 360 Performance Savings account with Capital One
  • Began using Tiller Money to track spending, set budgets, monitor debt balances and calculate net worth
  • Got a Chase Sapphire Reserve card and set it to automatically pay the balance in full each month. 

Additional 2020 goals include:

  • Pay off the car loans
  • Sell the boat and invest the proceeds
  • Build up an emergency fund

Expressing Gratitude

The FIRE and Minimalist communities have been amazing. Their members generally meet you where you are, encourage and celebrate the small wins, share tips and advice and demonstrate a sincere desire for everyone to succeed in their journey. And it’s not just the financial advice. These resources have helped me envision a better and more conscious way to live. My future self will be forever indebted (pun intended) to this community for helping me envision a truly better way to live. 

Do I wish I had learned this mindset and these tools 10 or 20 years ago? Absolutely. I almost certainly would be retired from mandatory work by now. But ruminating on past mistakes is futile and it’s never too late. I’m not a millennial and missed my chance to retire in my 30s. But starting now at age 49, my new goal is to retire while still in my 50s. I’ve got 3,977 days. Let’s Gooooo!

Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

New Decade. New Habits.

There’s nothing inherently special about a new decade, or even a new year. January 1 is simply an arbitrary point on the continuum of time. But it can serve as a useful marker for tracking progress, and so this first day of 2020, a new blog is born.

Perhaps the world doesn’t need yet another blog. But I suppose that as individuals, we each believe that our unique points of view might resonate with someone. We all collect wisdom along the way and it is human to want to try to share it in the service of others.

2019 was the year I was introduced to the concepts of Minimalism and Financial Independence (FI). Early in the year I stumbled upon The Minimalists podcast, hosted by Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus. This concept really resonated with me, not because it reflects my life as it is, but because it reflects the type of life I desire to live. In 2019 I also discovered the Enneagram personality test which asserts that we all fit, more or less, into one of nine distinct personality types. I’ve always enjoyed taking these types of tests and I always approach them with a healthy dose of skepticism but found that Enneagram Type 5, described as The Investigator, really resonated with me. Upon reading various Type 5 descriptions, one passage really stood out: “Independence and autonomy are extremely important to Fives, who would prefer to scale down or do without rather than having to increase dependency on others. This may lead them to adopt a frugal and minimalist lifestyle.”

This was an “aha” moment for me because it explains why, despite living what many outside observers would describe as a life of comfort and success, I feel persistently uneasy and unfulfilled. The 24 years since I graduated college can be described as a sustained period of lifestyle inflation. As my income and family grew, so did my standard of living. Following, but never seriously questioning, the standard script, I allowed my lifestyle to grow to what can be characterized as obscene levels of spending. A thorough analysis of our 2019 spending confirmed what I had suspected but was afraid to calculate. In 2019 my family of three spent $154,775. That’s USD, not Chinese Yuan. Contrast that with the objectively successful Mr. Money Moustache who still professes to live on $25-27K per year. Let me be clear: this is not a humble brag. I find this admission to be profoundly embarrassing. But despite the unflattering admissions, it is my intent for this blog be transparent so that others in similar situations might learn from what is an all-too-common journey.

Self-awareness, however late to arrive, is nonetheless a gift. Before I read the groundbreaking book Your Money or Your Life, it was never really articulated to me that I was trading my very “life force” for all of these material goods. And that by spending far more than I was saving, I was condemning myself to indefinitely work nights and weekends in high-paying but high-stress jobs for asshole bosses. Granted, I may not be wise but I’m also not ignorant. Of COURSE, I knew what I was trading for this lifestyle. I know that time is our most valuable nonrenewable resource. I just never really questioned it or considered the way out.

But now I get it. I get me. I get the trade-offs I’ve made – that I am still making – to live this way. The way out has been eloquently and articulately described in the many excellent books, blogs, documentaries and podcasts that I’ve consumed the past few months. In addition to watching the documentary Playing with FIRE and reading the Mr. Money Moustache blog, I’ve devoured the books Work OptionalYour Money or Your LifeChooseFIMeet the Frugalwoods, The Simple Path to Wealth, and I Will Teach You to Be Rich. They collectively describe the possibility of living with less: Less debt, less wasted space, less clutter, less stress, less fear, less reliance on a high paying job, lower monthly bills and a smaller carbon footprint. But also describe a life of more: More savings, more security, more freedom, more time, more confidence, more options, more travel, and more alignment with the ethical ideals which I want to model for my daughter.

I’m ready to change but this life of overhead and infrastructure, of contracts and agreements, and of complicated emotions is heavy with its own inertia. This life which took decades to build will take time to un-build. I’m determined to make dramatic progress towards this better, saner way of living in 2020 and will try in this blog to consistently and transparently track my progress. Let’s begin.